I have a love-hate relationship with social media. When people post about themselves, presenting themselves so clearly to the world around them, I feel like my own world is less real, shrinking around me, claimed by the person who just posted about their quirky outing, their interest in baking, their funny child, or even their pressing problem.

There is something about seeing someone’s clear presentation of themselves — even if it is not overwhelmingly positive — that makes me feel less, diminished, no longer able to lay claim to being a Real Person.

So, on the advice of my husband, I’m returning to blogging, cutting out a little space of land for myself online. My goal is to post twice a week, chiefly about homemaking things. In the spirit of presenting myself to the world just a little, now, a few things about me, in no particular order:

  • I love ingredients. I get very excited to try new ingredients in new dishes.
  • I’m socially anxious and fairly neurotic, especially about illnesses.
  • I re-read the same books over and over and feel very proud when I actually read something new.
  • I enjoy budgeting.
  • I’m working on a PhD.
  • I dream of writing a home economic curriculum.
  • I also dream of having a well-organized pantry.

Cleaning the house

The house is actually a lot cleaner than it has been in quite some time. I can both remember the last time I swept the floor (or, my husband swept the floor…) and the last time I cleaned the bathroom. And the living area is pretty clutter free. But the more I do, the more I feel like I will never be on top of the space or the cooking in the kind of self-sustaining, regular, don’t-have-to-think-about-it way I envision when I think of accomplished homemaking. Meals I don’t have to scramble to make, laundry that manages to be simultaneously clean and in a drawer. Though it is currently clean and spread through the house. So that’s something.

Potentially what I am expecting to happen is not a real thing, or takes significantly more practice than I have thus far put in. But whatever the case, there is a big rift between my imagination of how my house could (should?) be, and the reality:


Top left: “Rubbermaid Homefree Series Closet Kit 3G59” by Rubbermaid Products CCL
Bottom Left: “Basement Pantry” by Susy Morris CCL Other photos mine, edits mine.

Well, my first problem is probably thinking that my reality should be in line with set photography from a storage system manufacturer. I think that’s a good thing to realize. I hope, in the next couple of weeks, to develop more realistic homemaking goals and strategies. To do so, I plan to implement three things:

1. Tracking my time. I will try to see how I spend my hours, and see if there are some things (looking at you, 800 times I check Facebook daily) that can be cut back on.

2. Praying. I will be specifically praying for God to show me what my priorities really are and should be, so that I can stop trying to focus on everything at once.

3. Sitting down with Mr. B. and figuring out some ways we can tackle weekly tasks with teamwork. This was his idea, and I am so grateful that he comes up these kind of practical ideas. I’ll plan to post an update on what we come up with.

I love homemaking (at least theoretically, and hopefully more and more, in reality) and look forward to being able to do it with less of a sense of futility.

So, what about you? Has anyone else dealt with a disconnect between the way they want their life to look and the way it does look? How did you or are you dealing with it? Inquiring (nosy?) minds want to know.


So many options!

               So many options!   (“Halloween Meeting” by Gina Sala is licensed under CC 2.0 )

It’s mid-September, which of course means I’ve been thinking about Halloween for a month already. I had incredible costumes as a kid, all made by my mom, whose creative contributions included a Statue of Liberty costume (complete with green face-paint) and a Pilgrim costume. I loved dressing up when I was young, and had a big box of scarves and dresses and shoes and shawls. I thought for a while that I had outgrown this, but have realized in the last few years that really, I haven’t. I still love dressing up, putting on another persona, wearing pretty things. But I think that, like so many things in my life, I want to do the dressing up thing so well, particularly on occasions like Halloween, that I just don’t do it at all. Nor do I do anything for Halloween, except maybe give children candy. (Not to knock that — I did it for the first time last year and it was awesome.) So this year, I’d like to actually do something, enjoy dressing up, and not necessarily have the most clever or best made costume out there.  It’s part of a bigger effort I’m making, to do the things I want to do, even if I can’t do them as creatively or as perfectly as I’d like — taking a bite out of perfectionism. Though if you have suggestions, I’d love to hear them.